Trust the Story
Why we should be active participants in the story God is telling and some discussion of if God is or isn't a jerk
I am a coward.
I am.
Left to my own devices I would never leave my house. I would sit around and fantasize about all the things that could go wrong - or - studiously avoid that line of thought through distraction.
In my teens and twenties that was drugs and alcohol.
I think, looking at it form the outside that I probably looked reckless. Aggressive. Wild.
I was afraid.
It can be hard to look at something as out of control as illicit drug use and think ‘control,’ but that’s exactly what it was.
Drugs gave me a sense of control in a world I did not trust.
Push a button, feel different.
Push a button, forget to be afraid.
Control.
Anxiety.
Fear.
That was my life.
And, when God freed me from drugs that was still my life, and the subject of most of my conversation with him.
God: Daniel, do you trust me?
Me: I don’t know. I want to.
God: But what’s the point in not trusting me?
Me: I don’t understand.
God: If you can’t trust me, aren’t you done-for anyways? Why bother?
Me: I don’t understand.
God: If I’m not who I say I am, if I’m a jerk, what can you do about it?
Me: Nothing?
God: Nothing. …so why not just trust me? Nothing else makes sense.
He was right.
If God was a jerk, I was screwed. Nothing in between.
If God was a jerk, I couldn’t trust him and it wouldn’t matter how dialed in I was, how perfect my execution.
If God was a jerk, I had absolutely no defense.
None.
There is no controlling for a God you cannot trust.
So… why did I keep treating Him like a jerk?
My life was full of plans and approaches that all presumed on God being… a jerk.
Harsh.
Deceptive.
Tricky.
The internal pressure of my life was off-the-charts as I worked the edge of soul raw following every rule, implied rule, conditional rule, tug of my heart with… fear.
God: What if you’re doing all the right things, but you’re doing it for the wrong reasons?
Me: I don’t understand.
God: What if I am who I say I am?
Me: I don’t understand.
God: What if I’m not a jerk?
Lightbulb.
What if God is who He says He is?
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11
What if God means it, in these and a hundred other verses?
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
Romans 8:28
What would my life look like if I just acted like I believed it?
How would my behaviour change?
What would I do different?
I think these are remarkable questions.
Because the truth is that I would be remarkably different.
I saw it.
I decided to do something about it.
I got to work.
I started taking risks.
Because that’s what faith is.
I still treat God like He’s a jerk. Everytime I deal with a lesson and learning about how I do that, I find another one.
Maybe you will do better.
But on the whole?
We’ve come a long way God & me.
Every now and then I manage to treat God like I really trust Him and I get to see the miraculous.
Sometimes.
But mostly I just understand that I live inside of a story, and I am not the storyteller.
It’s a lot less pressure when you’re right sized about your job description.
It’s a lot less fear when you decide you can trust the storyteller.
I wonder what will happen next?
All scripture referenced is NLT unless otherwise noted. I prefer NLT for postural discussion as it is both reasonably rigorous while retaining a conversational tone.
For study I strongly encourage the use of original language tools, multiple translations, and rigorous critical thought.
Please remember that when you read the Bible in English you are always reading someone else’s theological interpretation of the text.
Do it for the story.