The Choice
Why little things matter in an economy of God and some suggestion that choosing small means going big.
I used to want a big story.
I did.
Greatness to me was… the same thing everyone seems to want. I’m not sure what best describes it… money? Power? Pride?
Importance?
That’s close.
But I was too scared to try. I was small, content with potential.
Which is… just another word for something that hasn’t happened.
That was me.
Then I lost control, blew up the world, met Jesus, and everything changed.
Except it didn’t.
In my failing forward into the success of the Gospel, somewhere in the space where I learned to confess my very real and true weakness… I missed a step.
Something in me took from it, “now I can do big things!”
…and I set off on a quest for merit badges, titles, and achievements (oh my).
No one corrected me.
Doing big things for Jesus was the order of the day and the culture I lived in.
So I set off to acquire a hat collection but all the while my spirit kept at me. Persistent. Nagging. Faithful.
It led to a lot of pain and to a question… “what is more likely for Jesus to have… people willing to do big things, or small ones?”
Luke 16:10
If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.
Mostly… I think people don’t want to do anything.
But then, when they do, they only want to hit long balls, home runs, do the big things.
…but what if God is calling for a tactical bunt?
“I stopped outside a church house where the citizens like to sit
They say they want the kingdom
But they don't want God in it
I went out ridin' down that old eight-lane
I passed by a thousand signs
Looking for my own name”Bono, ‘The Wanderer’
I remember a painful moment in which God spoke to me.
I was at a Church conference.
I had so many roles and titles.
I was in all the right rooms with all the right friends.
I had a team of people with me that had trusted me to be their Pastor, and I was nowhere to be seen.
I was somewhere else, talking to people I wanted to approve of me.
I was in tremendous pain.
God: It’s time to choose.
On one hand - ministry success. The whole world will know your name and associate you with Me… but it will be thin. So thin that when we peel it back it will disappear into one hand. It will look like everything and mean nothing.
On the other hand -ministry service. You will go where no one knows you, do things no one will recognize, and will have my promise that I will let you touch the stories that truly matter, but you will never see it. It will look like nothing and mean everything.
You can’t have both.
Choose.
Me: …that’s ….that’s just so… so… completely horrible.
God: It gets way harder than this. We’re just getting started.
So I chose.
Look.
Just because all the other Christians are running around chasing their egos and accomplishment doesn’t mean we should too.
John 3:30
He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less.
We have a job to do. We are supposed to be different.
If we don’t do that when we can get away with it or when it costs… exactly when will we get around to it?
Little things matter.
God: Do you want to be mine?
Me: Yes.
God: Then stop trying to control everything. Stop trying to win.
Me: …what are you talking about? There is nonsense coming out of your mouth. I don’t get it.
God: Did I die on a cross?
Me: Yes.
God: Did I want to die on a cross?
Me: …no.
God: So was I winning?
Me: …no. You lost.
God: Correct. Now, what was I doing?
Me: …you were obedient?
God: Good... and consider… which is more true… did I do one amazing thing, or, was it a million small ones?
He wrecks me.
I am so glad of it.
My life, my Christian life, is not any one thing.
It is a million things.
It is everyday.
It is all of my smallest decisions. All together. Masquerading as some singular thing we would call a ‘life.’
Each one a chance to be equal to the conviction and motive of my heart.
Each one a chance to tell a story.
And I guess that’s it.
So I don’t want a big story.
I want a million small ones, lived well and fully, and then we will see… we will just see what God will do.
Me: Amen.
God: Amen.
All scripture referenced is NLT unless otherwise noted. I prefer NLT for postural discussion as it is both reasonably rigorous while retaining a conversational tone.
For study I strongly encourage the use of original language tools, multiple translations, and rigorous critical thought.
Please remember that when you read the Bible in English you are always reading someone else’s theological interpretation of the text.
It's helpful to hear an honest account of your internal struggle with pride and the humility that it wrought in you.