Finding the Floor

Why the important things can neither be ritualized nor skipped, and a bit about fighting for what matters

For about ten years now, before every church service I have led or participated in, I have put forehead to floor and prayed… right there in front of everyone.

If there’s room to get on my knees… this comes up.

To understand, please accept the truth that I really don’t want to do this.

It’s embarrassing.

To be clear, it is not embarrassing to worship God.

It is entirely embarrassing to look like I want people to think I worship God.

I am positive that this prayer habit looks like I want to look like I’m very spiritual but got stuck trying to impress people.

I hate it.

In the world I was in charge of, forehead to the floor prayer in front of large groups of people would be saved for important moments of growth and conviction.

But I’m not in charge and this is how it goes, and that is what this is all about.

Me: I think I’ll skip putting my face on the ground at the front of the church today.

God: Why would you do that?

Me: It’s ridiculous. It’s an affected, ritualized, display of ‘me me me me’ and I’d really rather not. I don’t WANT to be the guy that just has to do that everytime.

God: Is that why you do it? Because you ‘have’ to?

Me: …no. But it is a bit compulsive. Surely a greater demonstration of willingness at this point would be to NOT do so?

God: You think not worshipping me would worship me better?

Me: …no. But what about your own words? What about Matthew 6:6? “But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private.”

God: Isn’t that what this is? You choosing total privacy with me, right here in front of everyone? Isn’t that exactly what you’re doing? Making this space - this church service - entirely about Me and you? Is that wrong?

Me: …no. It just looks so ridiculous. I don’t look like I’m worshiping you. I look like I care what people think.

God: If you don’t care what they think… why are you worried about it? Are they right?

Me: …no.

God: Then why wouldn’t you?

That last… is such a good question.

God: Why wouldn’t you?

Home

The rest is just noise.

In fact, worse than noise, the rest is total garbage getting in-between God and who I want to be - in love and unafraid, willing.

And so I do.

Wrestling out the exact difference between my fear of and worship of people and my love of and worship of God, I make a choice.

There, in front of everybody, in a way that has no ritual to it at all… because I fight it each and every time, I put my forehead on the floor. And nobody knows.

I probably look like I’m trying to look so spiritual.

I definitely look weird.

It’s not that.

My God said, “Why wouldn’t you?” and it turns out, I would.

Maybe next time He’ll say something different.

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All scripture referenced is NLT unless otherwise noted. I prefer NLT for postural discussion as it is both reasonably rigorous while retaining a conversational tone.

For study I strongly encourage the use of original language tools, multiple translations, and rigorous critical thought.

Please remember that when you read the Bible in English you are always reading someone else’s theological interpretation of the text.

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